Wednesday, June 21, 2006

160 Annoyances

141. People who write on money.

142. Special washing instructions.

143. Lazy screenwriting where the wisdom of your wise-man character is established by having him answer questions with questions.

144. Not finding all the pins in a new dress shirt.

145. People who make the "How Ironic that Lou Gehrig had Lou Gehrig's Disease" joke.

146. The light nausea you get in highway traffic in a drive-on-the-left country.

147. Using the "1. Mildly creative phrase, 2. Colon, 3. Real Subject" format when titling your research paper.

148. That moment when you pause, swallow, and realize you're getting a cold.

149. Breaking down boxes.

150. Could the Diet Dr. Pepper ads, just once, complete the remainder of their implied sentence? "Diet Dr. Pepper. Tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper.... than an other, typical diet cola would to its own regular counterpart."

151. Guys at the gym who use the adductor machine.

152. Magazine poker ads where some guy in a suit jacket and three-day stubble is holding a royal flush.

153. Trying to ward off the cops with an "I Love Troopers" bumper sticker.

154. Businesses that use multiple AA's to jockey for position in the yellow pages.

155. Sleeping with your pets.

156. The moment, when circling the parking lot looking for a space, when you realize that if you had just taken one of the pain-in-the-ass parking spots that were available when you entered the lot, that you'd already be inside by now.

157. People who have their first name legally changed.

158. Movie ads that boast that a movie is the "Winner!" of a nomination.

159. Wouldn't it be nice to see a woman's back that didn't have a tattoo on it?

160. On all those "tales from the highway-patrol" TV shows and COPS, the suspect is always caught. Always. The guy making a break for it on foot. The speeding car that plows through the median to the opposite lanes. They're all caught. Every time. Am I the only one rooting for the perps to occasionally get away and leave the cops looking like idiots? It's not like the fleeing suspect doesn't occasionally escape, right? Why won't they show it? Are they afraid of us losing respect for the police, or people learning how to game the cops? They don't have to worry about any of that - just show it. Seriously, if some fleeing car ever pulled some real life Blues Brothers moves and left 30 cop cars in a funny pileup, while he rides away scot-free into the sunset, then I have got to see that.

1 comment:

Matt Vella said...

148 - man, I friggin' hate that.