Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Only Idiots Own Pit Bulls

There's never been a truer statement. Own a pit bull terrier? If so you're a moron. You can't not be. Show me the counter example. Show me the guy with the 175 IQ who keeps pit bulls. Show me the retired English professor. Show me the Boeing engineer. Show me the pediatrician. I'll wait. Being an idiot, you probably don't even know how to look.

You see, pit bulls, almost alone among dog breeds, are capable of unpredictable and unprovoked savage violence against humans, no matter how well they've been domesticated or trained. There is no such thing as a safe pit bull. They are responsible for over 50% of reported dog attacks in America annually. Think about that. That's one out of over 100 breeds responsible for more than half of all attacks.

But it gets better. Most dog bites result in non-serious injuries. Pit Bull attacks disproportionately result in maiming or death. Most dogs, when provoked, will only attack people they perceive as weaker - children and the elderly. Pit Bulls and only Pit Bulls make no distinction between adults and children. They will attack anyone.

My evidence for all of that? Only the most comprehensive multi-decade study of American dog attacks ever conducted:

http://www.dogbitelaw.com/Dog%20Attacks%201982%20to%202006%20Clifton.pdf

So let's ask a question. Why would a person choose a pit bull? Let's draw up a list of pros and cons. We already know the cons: pit bulls, no matter how well trained, are capable of unprovoked lethal violence against anyone. There's the check mark in our con category. So what are the pros?

How about maybe, they make good guard dogs? No, sadly they don't. They don't have the guard dog instinct. They conspicuously don't make a top-18 list of best guard dog breeds. Although the author notes that many people use them as guard dogs anyway, counting on their mere scary appearance to be a deterrent to a trespasser.

Which bring us to the next "pro" consideration. Is this a cute, charming or handsome dog? Well, you be the judge.
So no. It's not a dog that works, it's not particularly intelligent or beautiful, it possesses no special skill or ability. It really has only one outstanding trait, and that's that it's unpredictably savage and that it attacks people at far higher rates than any other dog. Why is that so hard for Pit Bull fanciers to admit? Why do sites like these blame the pit bull's reputation as a scary savage dog on "media hype"? Are the mauling statistics not convincing? Do they think that Basset Hounds are sending children to the hospital with these kinds of facial wounds with equal frequency as pit bulls but the media conspiracy just suppresses it?

So I mean, why not get a golden fucking retriever? Why would you get a pit bull? Even if you strongly disagree with me on the aesthetic question and you think this breed is handsome and beautiful, why get the one dog most statistically likely to maim your children? I don't get it. Is it that handsome and beautiful? Is it such a compelling dog in all other respects that you're willing to roll the dice on the maiming, and willing to pay higher insurance premiums? Of course it isn't.

In fact, there is only one "pro" to owning a pit bull terrier, and now we get back to my main point. The only reason to choose a pit bull is because you believe it is some kind of fashion accessory. You believe it's stylish. Specifically, you think that because the pit bull is a bad-ass dog, that it somehow makes you a bad-ass to own one. You're hoping that by owning an unpredictably violent dog, you will be thought of as a tough guy.

And to conclude, there's only one kind of person who would a) want to acquire a bad-ass reputation via dog breed selection, b) think that pit bull ownership actually accomplishes this, and c) think that pit bulls aren't really that dangerous. And that's a massively stupid person. And since the only reason to select the most savage dog in the breed book is to make this fashion statement, it follows that every pit bull owner is massively stupid.

Have a great day.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Over 90% of people who die during travel, die while driving or riding in cars. Only idiots drive cars. See how that works?

Rowsdower said...

Non Sequitur. But I like the idea of a car analogy. If over half of all car fatalities occurred in a Ford Focus, then there'd be a term for anyone who bought a Ford Focus - and that would be fucking moron.

Anonymous said...

Here are the idiot's arguments.... That owning a car is like owning a pitbull. This is the mentality of these people. If I were standing in front of one of them I just say "Hey stupid ass" and always refer to them like that. Pitbulls should be outlawed by the general public. There is no reason to won one. A CAR on the other hand? Try to live in the USA and not have a car. This is not Europe and we don't have the infrastructure necessary to get around without a car. It is a half hour drive across most US cities. To the person who wrote this I say "GREAT POST!!!" And to the people who compare a pitbull to a car I say "Hey stupid ass! I have some home made dog food you can give your pitbull and if you lived in my neighborhood, your dog would mysteriously disappear one day. I guess he or she just managed to get out while you were at work and I haven't seen a thing. You should thank me really, because I am doing you a favor." http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/12/police-put-that-dog-down-after-it-kills-pregnant-california-woman/

DubV said...

If you go to dogsbite you'll find a few common categories of pit bull owners. You are right that they are often a thug fashion accessory. Also, many people own one because they have a lion tamer personality. Or they are wearing their compassion on their sleeve. Or they think anything the general public believes and that is supported by media must be wrong. Or they think anything negative about an animal type must be wrong. There are a few types. None are using good decision making. A logical person does not own a breed of dog that has a negative stigma. They make another choice. That's because the negative stigma might be right and the pit bull owner's mental gymnastics to get around wrong. So it is a fool's bet. Good on the anonymous poster for realizing the stupidity of most pit bull owner comparisons. They will commonly compare pits to something with a danger but that has a huge net benefit as a category. For instance, they'll note that more people die in bath tubs each year. Yet, we have no real choice to not bathe. Given that we want to clean ourselves, we choose a safe option and not a shower with a built in electrical outlet and toaster assembly.

vick said...

I believe that you are the idiot! Just like every other close minded moron out there, who thinks that pitbulls are the more dangerous breed, any dog can be trained for whatever your needs may be, why does law enforcement use the German Shepherd? They are vicious and agile, but i will tell you that my pitbull runs faster than a German Shepherd as agile, very loving and great with kids. Only idiots post stupidity like you do on the web, even though you might not post this, you will have read it! if people like yourself don't like these breeds keep it to yourself.These dogs make up 80% of the population in pounds and shelters because they are overbred and crossbred by idiots who want to make money! don't put those of us who are RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS, in the same category as the idiot who is not responsible! Do your research there are plenty of people who are well studied have gone to college and work in corporate America who own pitbulls before you open your mouth and ramble on and on without a leg to stand on, take a look at some of these links and to the other IDIOTS who posted negative about this breed do research! I can't stress how much you need to DO YOUR HOMEWORK! before opening your stupid ass mouths, clearly we do have a dumb ass category. If you post at least have the courage to post your name as well, you are a bunch of cowards! and to the other idiot who said he would walk up to a pitbull owner and call them a dumb ass! you don't have the spine for it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skPzKlKz8Kw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPd2J3HFJxM&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVSAeXNfZsg&feature=related, just a few videos to help you out. my name is Victor Sandoval and i'm from San Diego CA, A responsible pitbull and dog owner!