Monday, November 08, 2004

80 Annoyances

61. The icy center of a microwaved burrito

62. A commercial describing a car as having “aggressive lines”

63. Alex Trebeck’s smug satisfaction after he makes a lame pun

64. When characters in sci-fi movies say “Whoa whoa! Say that in English!”

65. The “grooming” of Brian Williams

66. How U.S. News & World Report can somehow produce a “Special Commemorative Issue” every freaking week

67. Clippy

68. A locked piano

69. Local news

70. How the guy who got the game winning homer in extra innings will always be the “player of the game” despite absolutely anything that may have happened over the course of the first nine innings.

71. When you sit through a 5 minute talk radio commercial break and when the host comes back with all the usual music and fanfare, he just pitches some vitamins at you and then goes on break for another 5 minutes.

72. A school bus deploying the stop sign

73. Thinking it somehow makes you more of a man to call Heads on a coin flip

74. Handrails that move faster than the escalator

75. Interviewers interviewing interviewers

76. Cheap video game level design where the player is intended to die on his first attempt, so that he’ll memorize the trap and know how to avoid it the subsequent time.

77. When you had a complex question for your French teacher, and it was way beyond your ability to ask it in French, but she wouldn’t let you ask it in English. Not even after class.

78. Giving your pet a two-syllable name with the “eee” sound at the end.

79. People who just aren’t convinced by a locked bathroom door and insist on knocking to get a verbal confirmation

80. The policy at the New York Times Magazine where all cover photo subjects have to look glum, sour, pained, weary and vaguely angry, apparently regardless of all context

And this may not be here or there, but don't you think it would be nice if Chinese restaurants and other eateries that offer "family style" meals exclusively, if they'd offer some sort of solo-entree option? I mean, if I'm in the mood for cashew chicken, and I don't conveniently have people to join me, why should I be screwed? Yes, I can take the leftovers home, but what if I don't want to? What if I just want a portion of General Tso's chicken on a plate, with rice and a vegetable? Is that too much to ask?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Regarding #71: Well, then quit listening to Limbaugh

Now, for #81: Current administration. Oh, wait, that's not PETTY, that's an absolute thorn in my side 24/7. My bad.