Sunday, January 02, 2005

100 Annoyances

81. A 5 way intersection

82. Ghostwritten autobiographies

83. When someone you're sharing food with covers the entire portion with their condiment of choice without first getting your approval.

84. Cutting a piece out of the book jacket (or even just magic markering it) to get rid of the price. Look, it's perfectly obvious that the book was something like $21.95, and I would much rather just have an unmutilated jacket. I think that's reasonable.

85. Teaser Trailers with no actual footage

86. Striking up a conversation at the urinal

87. People who specifically request Captain Morgan

88. Why does the E Network only air Howard Stern shows featuring models or porn stars? Well, yes because people like hot chicks. But Stern is soooo much funnier when he's got a good celebrity guest or a funny topic. Having porn stars promote their websites is just not the best Stern. And yet E cannot bring itself to air any Stern episode that doesn't feature nudity. It's like they've got some bullet-point, ten-words-or-less understanding of what Stern is about. He's about hot chicks. Jesus.

89. "Gentle reader"

90. Selecting The Four Seasons or Mozart's A Little Night Music for that scene in your movie where you need some classical music.

91. Arial. It’s the ass of fonts, yet somehow everywhere you go it pops up as the default font. Why?

92. Saying "in statu quo" instead of status quo. Ooooooh I'm so impressed.

93. When books are written and published about current events and the events in question are still very much in progress. Some recent examples: a book on the 2004 presidential campaign published in August 2004 - a 9/11 retrospective published a month after 9/11 - a book on the Scott Peterson trial published during the trial, etc.

94. Low carb bread?

95. That weird, V-holdish blurry distortion when a computer monitor is on TV.

96. When you spend extra time making absolutely sure that you only took one paper plate, I mean really making sure, and yet you somehow took 3 plates.

97. Station Identification

98. When a line of dialogue is written to interrupt another line of dialogue, and there’s that just-noticeable-pause after the first actor artificially stops in his middle of his sentence and before the second actor actually butts in with the interruption. So it sounds like this:
Scotty: “But Captain! The torpedo tubes are jammed and I can’t possibly fix…”
Kirk: “……Damn it Scotty, there’s no time!”

99. Just ordering water.

100. The agony of deciding whether to pay or ignore the parking lot payment box, even when it seems logically impossible that the lot could really be monitored effectively, and even when the lot didn't use to charge anything and how dare they, and ultimately having to squeeze 3 dollars into a little slat into which 3 dollars cannot be squeezed.

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